please.

i am annoyed by it. surely there must be someone out there who is annoyed by my self-centredness as well. sometimes my self-centredness is too subtle even for me to see it.

i mean, come on man, none of the human beings on this planet earth is to be the center of the universe. neither you nor me nor he nor she.

please let me rant~

when i went to bed last night, my mind was still awake. at the attempt to lure myself to sleep and to be less bored, i viewed all the photos stored in my cell. most of them were taken in the JC time, Youth time. and memories flooded back again. so nostalgic lol. there are a few photos i took during the Bishan time. such a lovely place to me :D. i will never forget how my ex-lg surprised me there with their food and sent me off to the airport before my flight. i love everyone of them HAHA! strangely enough, today, comments on the pictionary vid popped up. watching it again, i laughed till my face and ears went red LOL.

i miss the JC time and my JC friends as well. just wanna give them a ring and go for ice-cream or something. i miss how Huda and i would fangirl over some korean stuff or how she would go gaga over the guy in the basketball team LOL. also, Paul Chow’s GP lessons, 2.4km run for PE, the hot sun, the locker area i passed by every morning, climbing the school fence to save time but actually not, dreadful physics tutorials with the monotonous tutor, the canteen’s food, endless consultations with different tutors before the exams…

still, now i love my local church homegroup and my Hope caregroup ♥. they both are so encouraging, uplifting and accepting. i’m thankful that i am accepted as who i am [: they are siblings-in-Christ and friends who i've grown to treasure so much. tonight at the local church homegroup which is my last before going home for 3 months, i was prayed for. God has strengthened me so much and thank You for the words given. tomorrow night is cg with my hope southampton people and it will be dinner! ♥ [can't wait for the tarts LOL]. even though we haven’t known one another for very long, God has definitely brought us so much closer. i wanna see the group grow, not only in numbers but also in the individual relationship with Jesus which is the most important (:  

to whoever is reading this,i don’t know who you are, but just remember that God loves you so so so so so much. Christianity is not a religion. we don’t need to do anything to be saved. God loves us so much that He gave us His son Jesus through whom we can have an everlasting relationship with Him [:

and i assure you that you will experience a new and wonderful life when you say yes to Jesus. [:

An Damaris <3 Jesus

well, i have abandoned this wordpress for so long! LOL. blame it on twitter *points finger* =P

i like the fact that i have my own room and it’s quite sound-proof.

i get to cry my guts out.

*sniffs*

i hate this feeling of loneliness engulfing me without me knowing why.

be strong, An. be strong.

God, i need Your help. i can’t do life on my own. i feel i’m so lacking.

i miss home. i miss people.

anyway, i will be fine. HEH! (:

this has got to be listened with earphones. playing it through speakers will deteriorate its beauty LOL. i’m serious! anyway, i demand a studio recorded version of this. a fan-recorded version like this doesn’t do Minnie justice HAHAHA~

gah~ i feel like i am fangirling too much on this ;___; but it’s such a sheer beauty, really!

it brings me back to my childhood, maybe the era between kindergarten and primary school. my mom used to listen to The Carpenters a lot along with Barbra Streisand, Richard Clayderman, ABBA, Celine Dion etc. the national TV channel would broadcast Yesterday Once More so often as the background music in their pretty lame music video featuring European scenes lol. it looked like a karaoke MV anyway. i wasn’t particularly a fan. it is just that hearing him sing this again makes me reminiscent here and there xD

i’ve got quite a long reflection but i’m just lazy to type. and it’s 3:02 a.m now and i’m having a lecture at 9, so it’s best to go offline now, do my quiet time, wash up and sleep.

anyway, i just wanna thank Jesus and say that i love Him a lot :D

night!

An Damaris <3 Jesus

love is patient, love is kind.

it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

let this be the guidelines for me :D

An Damaris <3 Jesus

8th February 2011 marks the start of my new semester. honestly, i wasn’t very excited about it. firstly, it is because of my horrid timetable with school starting at 9a.m every day for 5 days a week, which means i’ve got no day-off! [i was like 'whattheheck!' when i saw the finalised timetable >"<]. secondly, all the 4 new modules sound darn boring and academic. surely there are gonna be loads of theories and readings and full-of-yawn 9a.m seminars and lectures GAH! there are no longer Finance and Responsible Management which were my favourites. basically, before going back to school for the first day, i just felt resentful and bored and unenergetic.

the night before was spent downloading handbooks of the new modules, printing off notes for lectures, looking for people who sell textbooks on the school portal and checking assignment deadlines. another uninteresting pre-starting point for school. i couldn’t even sleep until 4 a.m. it wasn’t because i was too excited and pumped up to sleep. my body clock is just messed up as it’s still in the holiday mode LOL. now it’s 2 05 a.m on wed and i’m nowhere near wanting to hit the sack lol!

besides, there are things which keep bugging me like people-related stuffs, God-related stuffs, family-related stuffs. a sense of uncertainty here and there ya know.

so, seeing myself so unsettled, i couldn’t take it anymore. i started to pray and tell God what i’d been feeling. ultimately, things aren’t in our control but His.

thus, i’ve decided to start this new semester with a joyful mindset. i know i’ve said this before that i’d study for God and with God. well, it’s time i rolled up my sleeves and got my hands dirty! i will do my best for God and with God x].

guess what? my first day back to uni was more than fab! it was sunny cheerily. the sky was blue. you’d appreciate them since what you usually get here is cloudy, cold and windy weather. i even perspired when i climbed back the hill home from town. there were 4 smoke trails on the same patch of sky when i was walking to the library! i managed to buy a like-new textbook at 9 quid :D. and the largest motivation God has given to me is my first ever First Class essay in uni i got back after school xDDDDDD. it was the essay that pulled my hair out LOL. did i not only write it at the very last minute but also fail to reach the word limit! :/ i was like ‘aiyah, whatever, just conclude, print off and rush to the faculty office already!’ LOL. anyway, thank You God for sustaining me through that horrible essay night and shock me with the grade i got. i am such a blessed kid. all honour and glory go to You Sir! ;D

this week is gonna be packed! and man, i can’t wait for thursday to visit Hope Southampton cg for the first time! xDDDDD

gotta sleep soon~ x)

An Damaris <3 Jesus

The King’s Speech is such an excellent production. it’s a must-watch! ;D

2 minutes ago, i stumbled upon this vid! *fangirl moment* LOL

yesterday, i showered at 1 a.m LOL.

today, by now which is 11:39 p.m, i haven’t yet showered.

God, please give me motivation to change this~

right, i shall go to the bathroom right now.

An Damaris <3 Jesus

what an awesome comeback by Shim Chang Min and Jung Yun Ho today xD. well, whatever drama people are tweeting about is none of my business. can’t be bothered by such thing. isn’t it time we all enjoyed such a eye-and-ear-candy feast? lol, i sound like a fangirl >_____<

and horrendously enough, i’m soon going to be 20. oh man, 31st January, please take all the time you’d like!

i had an awesome time for Christmas and an ever bland New Year LOL. i’m so thankful for my friend and her family for inviting me over to celebrate Christmas with them. their hospitality and kindness really brought warmth to my heart. i had a chance to see England’s countryside which is spectacular. and thanks to them, i might have gained several pounds over 3.5 days of stay lol! i was so well-fed :D

having come back to the quiet student village on the 27th, i have been doing things alone most of the time. the quietness is so precious but i kinda miss the rowdiness of my housemates. i was too lazy on New Year’s Eve to get out of my house. while i was showering at night, there were fireworks going on. not knowing that it was already 00:00, i jumped a little inside the shower at the sound of the fireworks going off as i thought someone was trying to break into the house hahaha!

till now, i haven’t really come up with really solid resolutions for 2011. the ones for 2010 flunked to a fair extent lol, so there was no motivation for me to set up resolutions for this year :/. the thought of resolutions troubled my mind. i wondered if all that of making resolutions was just a tradition that people would have to do when a new year has come; and gradually, they would  forget to achieve the targets they have set during that year [like me! LOL].  

however, new year, new growth. in order to grow, there must be standard bars to reach. in the mean time, as i’m sitting and contemplating, i might as well think of resolution-ing over.

having borrowed 2 books by Max Lucado from church’s library and having finished reading one, i am reminded of God’s unconditional love. He chose me, He chose you, He chose us. we are worthy and beautiful in His eyes even though there are too many shortcomings and flaws in us.

so my priority for resolution this year shall be summed up in Mark 12:30-31 :D

30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with your strength. 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’

there would certainly be glitches between me and God, and me and people. but i’ll keep praying that these two verses will always be rung like a bell in my head [that would be pretty annoying at times i suppose lol!] and that whatever decisions i make will be pleasing to Jesus and glorifying His name (:

that’s my major resolution. well, for the minor yet pretty important personally to me, i desperately would like to kill off my habit of showering late! let’s set a time target for showering.

An shall be subject to showering at 11p.m the latest. in the situation whereby getting home is after 11p.m, An would have to shower as soon as possible.

LOL, i hope i will be well serious about this.

2011 is unfolding slowly. i’m a little anxious yet very excited about taking up the vice-president role of the international team. God, help me and guide me, okay? and i pray that the person in charge of the street team in church will reply my email SOON!

lectures and seminars will only start in the beginning of Feb. as a university student, i want to do well, for God and with God! :D

Do the good thing that result from being saved, obeying God with deep reverence, shrinking back from all that might displease him. For God is at work within you, helping you want to obey him, and then helping you do what he wants. (Philippians 2:12-13 TLB)

An Damaris <3 Jesus

Shim Changmin and Jung Yunho will be on stage performing live on this coming Friday! HOHOHOHO xD. can’t wait to see how they fare. but, seriously, their new MV is just full of hilarity! can’t get used to them being so serious, esp while wearing that tribal looking print suits! ._____. *sweats*

i know that isn’t Godly of me to think about.

but after almost 10 years of this, getting divorced doesn’t seem to be a bad idea. it is able to free each other and in some cases, their children too.

honestly, i’m scared of marriage, or failed marriage HAHAHAH!

what is the meaning of a happy home??? seeing friends’ family photos with their parents smiling happily, watching friends’ parents care for each other with genuine love … such novelty hasn’t ever been experienced.  

An will be back to the normal An tomorrow morning~ :D

Kutless’ What Faith Can Do is on repeat!