yesterday once more

this has got to be listened with earphones. playing it through speakers will deteriorate its beauty LOL. i’m serious! anyway, i demand a studio recorded version of this. a fan-recorded version like this doesn’t do Minnie justice HAHAHA~

gah~ i feel like i am fangirling too much on this ;___; but it’s such a sheer beauty, really!

it brings me back to my childhood, maybe the era between kindergarten and primary school. my mom used to listen to The Carpenters a lot along with Barbra Streisand, Richard Clayderman, ABBA, Celine Dion etc. the national TV channel would broadcast Yesterday Once More so often as the background music in their pretty lame music video featuring European scenes lol. it looked like a karaoke MV anyway. i wasn’t particularly a fan. it is just that hearing him sing this again makes me reminiscent here and there xD

i’ve got quite a long reflection but i’m just lazy to type. and it’s 3:02 a.m now and i’m having a lecture at 9, so it’s best to go offline now, do my quiet time, wash up and sleep.

anyway, i just wanna thank Jesus and say that i love Him a lot :D

night!

An Damaris <3 Jesus

 

taylor swift;

it’d be such an irony if i said she isn’t my favourite artist, while i’ve pretty much enjoyed her performances and music. well, her music gets mundane at times, so much about boys and BGR LOL! however, her rendition of Ain’t Nothing About You recently was so so so good (to me). improved vocal strength and stage presence except for some dramatic head bangings and hair swingings lol.

by the way, Audio-Technica seems to be her favourite sound equipment brand. she’s been always using the same white Audio-Technica mic [she has one AT mic in black as well]. but none beats BoA’s shining silver Audio-Technica mic with her name engraved on it xD.

;

anyway, today has been a lovely sunday. it was a pleasant 30-minute walk from home to church in the morning. walking alone is always enjoyable and fun. little did i know that it rained cats and dogs when i was about to walk back after the service. but God blessed me by sending Val and Kevin, who are a middle-aged married couple. they’d offered me a lift back to the student village before i even came to know that it was raining heavily outside the building :D. before dropping me home, they even took a hassle by letting me visit their house and play with their HUGE golden retriever and fluffy 16-year-old cat LOL. thank God for the chat i had with them in the car as well. it seemed that Kevin knows about Hope as he asked me if it was planted in Thailand initially HAHA. perhaps i’m gonna settle myself down in Vineyard. kinda tired from touring different churches every week already [although students would be given free lunch and desserts after services in those churches during the tour lol!]

i’m gonna go shower now and burn midnight oil. there’s a 2000-word essay due this coming tuesday and i haven’t written a word T___________T.

got texts from R. and my cousin :D. well, with 9p credit left [lol], i couldn’t reply them, thus resorted to offline messages. man, the daylight saving thing or whatever that is has been over, winter is here. now it’s 7-hour difference from Hanoi, 8-hour difference from Singapore, 11-hour difference from Sydney.

off~

An Damaris <3 Jesus

 

i was at a funeral this afternoon. my friend’s mom has passed away due to cancer. she’s even younger than my parents. pain and sorrow were there so clearly in the eyes of the people there. and when i came to greet my friend’s little sis, she said ‘my mom is gone’ and burst out crying, i couldn’t say a thing to comfort her. what could i have said? ‘it’s okay!’ or ‘nevermind’ (whattheheck?). anything could have been unsincere.

at this unearthly hour, a random song of Epik High which i can’t recall the title came to my mind.

‘time is ticking,

time is ticking,

time is ticking, away.’

R. is leaving this coming friday. so fast. may You give her journey mercy!

An Damaris <3 Jesus

 

‘everything You hold in Your hand

still You make time for me.’

isn’t God cool to have time with us while he has so many other things to do at the same time? God is good at multi-tasking hmm HAHAHA!

1) i’ve just received an email from a long-lost friend. and i don’t know what i should reply. i don’t wanna justify myself. but God, i know You’re giving me a lesson (LOL) and a chance to rekindle this friendship. help me push away my pride and be secured in You, God!

2) i got accepted in Winchester University in the UK yesterday. after i’d decided to keep up my hope in Him. THANK YOU, FATHER! xD

3) i’ve appealed for Environmental Engineering in NTU. besides Business, environment stuff and urban planning are the next-in-line things i wanna do. still, i pray that God will further reveal His great plan for me and i’m excited to know it HAHA! who isn’t? =P

An Damaris <3 Jesus

 

YOUTH

*waves* *smiles* xD

today was my last service in youth.

honestly, i didn’t want that to come, as in, the moment of really leaving youth. i felt reluctant. i’d love not to leave lol.

but after the grads’ meeting, God gave me a new perspective. and i’ve kinda [not completely lol] changed my heart attitude towards this. i’m still working on it! HAHAHAHAHA

how to say this?

i think i’m now pretty much anticipating this new beginning with God.

of course i’ll miss the time i had in youth where i first raised my hand and accepted Jesus in my life and where has spiritually brought me up. of course i’ll miss my unit where God has given me many friends that i cherish. of course i’ll miss my lifegroup who is like my family here.  

all the more, i’m so grateful to God that i have Him and His God-sent people in my life. i know that i would have been very lonely without Him.

and COLORS ~Melody and Harmony~ by Jae and Mic has been on my constant playlist. there is a part which is

“Thank you, thank you for everything
This shining feeling is a gift from you
It’s taught me that we can support each other, gaze into each others eyes,
And that I’m not alone”

An is not alone in You Father~ <3

and i believe that the shining feeling is only given to me by You (:

kamsahamnida, Hana-nim! <3
haaaaaaaa~ so with all my heart in gratitude and anticipation, i wanna move on to a new stage of life and be a blessing in a new place :D

An Damaris <3 Jesus

it’s so dumb of An to burst out crying while walking home and With All My Heart by the boys on the playing mode.

 

why is it damn hot in the middle of winter?! my mom is even turning on the fan lol.

and too many mosquitoes!

gonna have a night chat to Jesus after i brush my teeth! (:

An Damaris <3 Jesus

ah~ really in love Rainy Blue! <3

 

Possibility

BoA’s latest single is named Possibility which will be included in her coming Japanese album this Feb. i’m hooked to the song. i personally think that it’s a really good song and BoA is really cool and pretty with short hair in the PV. hope that she will get no.1 on Oricon Chart once the album is out. i like BoA HAHA!

though it appears to be no link lol, the song’s title reminds me how powerful God is. He can make everything possible even though it seems impossible. so i will continue to hope! :D

my birthday was over, but really it was a blessed birthday x). thank You God for letting me be born and have Jesus <3. and my lifegroup really know how to surprise me. they made an overseas phone call to me to wish me a happy birthday <3. i should have recorded it down lol. i didn’t know what to say but just laughed, said ‘thank you’ and asked who were there. i couldn’t think, perhaps it’s been quite some time since i spoke English LOL! though it was short, i felt really loved and it kept me grinning for the whole evening lol. thank you! <3 *grins* i miss them man~ and Sandy’s phone bill should have shot up LOL.

my mom got me MIROTIC DVD of DBSK and Younha’s latest album xD. she got it for free cuz her Korean friend refused to take the money. still, she claimed that she had already bought me those things by her embarrassment lol.

now i need to do laundry -_____-

An Damaris <3 Jesus

Rainy Blue by Tokunaga Hideaki is a great song too even though it’s old-school (1986 lol).

 

Upon This Rock

i’m listening to Upon This Rock sung by Changminnie in the boys’ concert (: . lol, he got a chance to shine by having a solo performance. by the way, i really hope that when he sang that, he meant it with all his heart to God. haaaaaaaa~, he’s Buddhist (by default lol). whatever~. i’m pretty sure that he got to see God through his 4 other members :D. i pray that he will cross the line of faith soon (like Jae, who was previously an atheist!).

though his English is pretty off [LOL! i had to search for the lyrics in order to understand what he sang!], it really moves me. i was reminded again that it’s so important to live according to God’s principles. for human beings, never ever sinning is impossible. but i wanna be aware of what i do, so that i won’t sin without knowing. i wanna live a Christ-centred life. 

God spoke to me last night and He nudged me again about forgiveness. to be honest, i was judgmental and harsh upon a person. i wasn’t going to accept what she has done. and i know i failed God again. i let the thought of having compassion slip away. though she’s gonna leave soon, i will stop being harsh on her! as if i hadn’t lied ever before. well, young teens now are more unexpected lol. i sounded like i was really a grown-up.

;

man, i’m seriously bored at home. i think i’m gonna read The Case for Christ once more :D. it’s an interesting book. but for an easy-to-be-intrigued person like me, i’d love reading new books. HAHA! and i need to do more housework. climbing the stairs and carrying piles of clothes to hang at my house’s balcony on the fourth floor already made me pant.

and it’s weird to see a heavy downpour in the middle of winter like today.

it’ll soon turn to dusk though it’s only 4 30 p.m. annyong~ i’m gonna maintain my level of hygiene soon lol! winter is such a difficult condition to do so =P

An Damaris <3 Jesus

 

i can finally breathe normally

with hair bundled up and in more comfortable clothes, i started on a pretty much daunting adventure ahead of me lol. nothing but a run at night after… let me see… more than 3 months of no exercising HAHAHA. my stamina has dipped greatly even though it wasn’t high to begin with. i walked quite a lot, almost half of the time haha! 

my very first effort to make a run was kinda hindered by various factors. i realised that my ipod was as heavy and bulky as a brick in my pocket when i ran. okay, i held it in my hand then. besides many red lights, half of my right shoe’s sole came off when i was running LOL! i had tried to ignore it initially but the dragging part started to bug me, so i plucked the whole sole off and threw it into the dustbin lol. moreover, there was a part of the Bishan Park that crept me out. there was a very weird sound grumbling in the tunnel under the iron lid. i could clearly hear it even though the music was blasting in my ears =/. i did nothing but quicky ran off that part.

but the time i had was sort of extraordinary. (: i was kinda mesmerised by the night scene, especially in the Bishan Park. well, some couples aside [lol, who i bet got kinda startled by my singing], the scene before my eyes was really pretty with a crimson red sky and cool breeze. God’s creation is always worth to gaze at.

my thoughts were given room to run around as well. i’ve always known that God’s love for me is too great. and i never felt good that i could ever love Him back with the same amount or somewhere near that infinite level. but somehow, an idea just popped up – ‘love God with God’s love’. more than often would i hear ‘love people with God’s love’ but i wanna try to love God with His love for me as well. i just wanna love God more.

‘i will rise when He calls my name

no more sorrow, no more pain.

i will rise, on eagle’s wings

before my God, fall on my knees

and rise, i will rise.’

these lines have left an impact in me. the devil has been trying to pull me down by making use of my insecurities but i know i will rise with His power. this reminded me of Moses. being a man with many insecurities, he did rise up as a leader to bring the Israelites out of Egypt, just by always being humble and dependent on God’s strength. i questioned myself if i would stay firm for God in the next 2 months, if i could testify Jesus to my parents, if i could show them how i’ve matured. God surely won’t let go of my hands. God will tell me what to do. what i need to do is to keep my faith and trust in Him.

;

the unexpected part of the run was that i met my classmate Sathya (sp? oh my LOL!) at J8 when i was walking home [not even running, no more stamina!] in sweat, panting. i was kinda dazed, so it took me a while to recognise him. well, hair dyed and casual clothes. i guess i am still too attached with the IJ uniforms lol. he thought i had already forgotten him haha. but bumping into each other at more or less 12a.m was hardly expected.

;

the holy comm team prepared a small celebration for Emelia’s birthday today, erm no, ytd. and the surprise part was kinda screwed lol. we planned that Emelia and i would carry out some last trays, leaving Calean in the room to light candle and stuff. when we were bringing those trays out, i was behind Emelia by one or two feet, she suddenly stepped back and knocked into my trays! the drink was spilt out LOL! all over my 4 trays. and it did really look like blood HAHAHAH! i was stunned at the corridor with Emelia in front of me. ‘should i go back to the room? but Emelia would surely find out about the plan. gah, how?’ but i still decided to go back and she actually followed me back to the room lol. thank God she didn’t notice about the cake which was super obvious to me when i went back lol.

well, happy birthday Emelia! <3 see you next next week!

;

this is gonna be shocking LOL.

i went for a shooting spree ytd after the service and i shed blood for don’t-know-how-many-times HAHA!

well, nah, i’ve tried out playing l4d-2 for the first time with my caregroup. i found it quite fun even though it is such a gory and violent game. it caused my head spin. kinda great experience haha! my team lost but i don’t think i performed badly given that i’m a noob at it lol. i like being a Spitter, the acid rocks! HOHOHOH!

;

i wanna ask and write sth but i don’t want one more deletion. but God, i pray that the person will be well very soon by Your healing. i’m sure You’ve seen the heart of giving you all in serving. so yep, God, take away whatever sickness. thank You God ^^~

;

alright, i need to shower now. i have dried up.

An Damaris <3 Jesus

Bolero by the boys is forever a heart-wrenching song haha!

Sunday means Flash Forward x). can’t wait for a new episode at 10p.m :D

 

good laugh

man, reading the book Proverbs again now seems so much more fun than before!

seriously!

Proverbs 22:13 the sluggard says, “there is a lion outside!” or, “i will be murdered in the streets!”

upon reading that verse, i laughed LOL. to be clear, i didn’t laugh at God’s Word ! i laughed at what the sluggard says. i was like “HALLO! lion?! murdered?! -_- ridiculous man! could you at least say sth sensible?” LOL

but look closely at it man! am i not like that sluggard? o_______o when i am unwilling to do sth, i will come up with various [stupid] excuses, so that i don’t have to do it. for example, i WAS very unwilling to wash my hair daily last year. i said i was, alright? lol. and i told people that washing hair every day wasted a lot of water and stuffs. i tried to justify myself for that HAHAHA! but now, i wash every day, given Singapore’s famous humidity =_=. and that makes my hair grow damn fast.

well, the point is the willingness to obey and submit to God’s Word. the sermon today taught me again about selective listening which had been taught by Mel during one of our first shepherdings. music, yep, can be selectively listened. that depends on our favourite genres. to me, i don’t listen to all types of Korean songs [and K-music now is so saturated -_-], my fav is still pop/pop-dance/ballads. HOWEVER, selective listening just canNOT be applied to God’s Word! i have to say i do compromise though i myself clearly know that it isn’t pleasing to God. still i do that. damn irritating!

2 Corinthians 10:5 …we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

even in thoughts, purity must be maintained. just thinking about sinning is already a sin, even if the sin is not actually carried out!

submit and obey!

thank You God for speaking to me. i’ve learned :D

An Damaris <3 Jesus